i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just had sex on a roof
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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