dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just high enough for therapy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
