so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
