what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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