oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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