yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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