Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
