If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
