I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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