His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
