we should wear snuggies to the strip club
vagina is talking i cant
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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