i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
