I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Acid is not a monday night drug
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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