i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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