How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
