Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize