I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
