cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
