I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
