I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
