i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize