I could have mohawked her pubes.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
