nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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