I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So many bounce houses so little time
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
