she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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