No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize