Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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