is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
