I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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