I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
