Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
