she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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