exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
