why didn't you poke me back
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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