you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
