He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
