my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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