the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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