Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
