You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I met the friendliest cop last night
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
