I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Banned from zoo.
Again?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
