so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
