we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
