I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
