Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Randomize
