sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
