I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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