Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
