So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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