me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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