if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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