Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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