no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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