I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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