Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
