Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
