I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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