So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
