i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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