After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There are leaves in my underwear?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
