It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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