Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish you could order shots online.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He passed out mid-signature
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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