I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
