Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
