do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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