I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize