so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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