You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
