Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
