I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
