Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
