Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up under a house in Key West
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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