y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
