so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
