I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
