Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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