You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just tell him i said nine months
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
